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prepared for members of IBM Ring 2100

compiled and edited by Ray Bedwell

January 1998

Barney Bedard . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Do More With Less Theme

Larry Caplan. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Horticulture Theme

Robin Dawes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The Three Brothers Theme

Robin Dawes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .An Idea from Peter Marucci

Harris Deutsch . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Drug Counseling Theme

Dan Garrett . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Three Polar Bears Theme

Fred Kushner . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Three Bears Theme

Robert Marquis. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Gospel Theme Idea

Jim McClure . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Three Crows and Elf Theme

Jack Poulter . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Soldiers Theme

A Bit of History

Dan Garrett reminds us that the effect which today we call "Equally Unequal Ropes" was invented by Bob

Carver in the early '50s, and won the IBM Originality Trophy in 1951. It was based on a 2-rope routine by

Hen Fetsch. Later, the effect was marketed by Gene Gordon, who came up with the name "Professor's

Nightmare.

Barney Bedard (bbedard@nbnet.nb.ca)

(Barney uses this story at company or government functions.)

(hand out three ropes). "I'd like you to examine these three ropes, try them out, and make certain they are

solid. Try to stretch them out, the same way most organizations ask us to stretch our resources."

time. Such words as 'downsizing' and 'rightsizing' have become the buzz words of the 90's."

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(set up for the move) "And that very same management would like us all to be able to stretch our resources.

Even though this is sometimes difficult, it really can be done very easily with just a little bit of magic." (do

the move)

"Even though it can be accomplished with just a little bit of magic, sometimes when they ask us to do 'more

with less', they REALLY mean 'do less with less with less'." (break back down into three ropes)

Larry Caplan (Larry_Caplan@ces.purdue.edu)

(Larry is an Extension Educator, in horticulture. He uses this effect to explain the main nutrients needed by

plants: nitrogen, phosphorus and potassium; and in teaching three things to remember about composting:

raw materials, nitrogen, and air. This is Larry's favorite routine for use at a local Career Fair for middle

school students.)

"Most people, when asked to choose a career, care a LOT about how much money they'll make (long rope).

They might give some moderate thought to job satisfaction (medium rope). But very few seem concerned

about making the world a better place. (short rope)"

"The ideal job or career would include an equal blend of all three of these factors. And that's why I like the

horticulture field (begin false count): you make a decent living; you enjoy what you're doing, working with

people and plants; and you make the world a better place by feeding people or beautifying our cities." (mash

ropes together) "But, unfortunately, most people will leave this career fair saying "To heck with making the

world a better place." (show short rope) 'All I want is to have fun on the job," (medium rope) "and make

lots of money." (long rope)"

"I hope all of you will give this a little more thought than that!" (Launch into the commercial about jobs in

horticulture and the levels of education required.)

Robin Dawes (dawes@qucis.queensu.ca)

"Once upon a time, there were three brothers: Shorty, Stretch, and Norm. Shorty was always complaining

about being so short that he couldn't see anything when they went to the movies. Stretch was always upset

because he had to fold himself up just to get through the front door of their house."

"So the three brothers went to see a wizard, who agreed to solve their problems. He said the magic words,

'Pasta fazoola, lollapalooza', and, lo and behold, Shorty grew and grew; and Stretch shrank and shrank until

all three brothers were exactly the same size."

(Use the false count with these two paragraphs.) "The next day, their mother called out 'Shorty, come and

get some ice cream.' But, when he came to get it, she said, 'Norm, this isn't for you. You had some cookies.'

Poor Shorty! He couldn't convince his mother that he really was himself, only bigger."

"Then she called out, 'Stretch, come and get some cake!' But when he came into the house, his mother said,

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smaller."

"So, the three brothers realized that it was better to just be yourself, rather than pretend to be like someone

else. The three brothers went back to the wizard, who recited the magic words backwards: 'Azoolapallola,

looza, fatsap'."

Robin Dawes (dawes@qucis.queensu.ca)

Peter Marucci uses a routine in which rope is identified as a "bean." The long one is a "string bean;" the

middle one is a "human bean;" and the little one is a "has bean."

From this flow a long list of puns.

Harris Deutsch (shawneenrlynrml@yahoo.com)

(Harris is a drug counselor, and thus this idea.)

But drugs treat them all the same (showing ropes the same length).

But the three ends to drug use for addicts always end up being the same: JAILS, an INSTITUTION, or

DEATH!

A PERFORMANCE TIP: Stretch the ropes SLOOOWLY, rather than pulling them out quickly, during the

"same length" phase.

Dan Garrett (DanGarrett@aol.com)

"Once there was a Papa polar bear, a Momma polar bear, and a baby polar bear. (Show the 3 ropes.) Most

of the time they were very happy, they loved to romp and play together, and do all those normal polar bear

things. But there is a time when polar bears become very frightened. That is during the polar bear hunting

season."

"One year, the 3 polar bears went to see the World's Greatest Wizard, to ask if he could do something to

protect them during polar bear hunting season. So, I thought for a minute . . . (ahem!). The Great Wizard

thought for a minute and said the magic words: Wizzi, Wazzi, Wazoo! (Do the move.) And suddenly, all 3

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polar bears looked exactly like a Momma polar bear. They looked so much alike, you couldn't tell them

apart! And, do you know what? You're not allowed to shoot Momma polar bears! It's illegal to do that, no

matter what the season."

"After passing the season in safety, the 3 polar bears went back to see the Wizard, and I, uh, he said the

magic words: Wuzzi, Wizzi, Wazzam!"

again, one great big, happy family! "

(Dan Garrett's own routine is proprietary, but he has recorded it and it appears on one of his videotapes

"Kidshow Konnivery." You can order that tape directly from Dan.)

Fred Kushner (fredk@phoenixat.com)

"One upon a time, there were three bears: A daddy bear (large rope); A mommy bear (medium rope); A

baby bear (small rope.)"

"All summer long the three bears played in the forest, and ate all sorts of good things. They also were good

friends with Yogi Bear ." (pause - as anticipated , no response) "This group is younger than I thought!"

(laughter from the parents who realize what I was talking about)

"When Winter came, they all crawled into their cave to sleep. The baby bear snuggled up, then the mommy

bear, and finally daddy bear. See, bears like to sleep on their backs: this is there feet in the air (ends of rope

held up). Do you know what bears do when they sleep? (pause) SNORE!" (make snoring sounds; then back

to the story.)

"Well, that Winter, Mother Nature decided to go to Florida. While she was away, a strange thing happened

to our bears. They started growing, and growing, and growing . . . (at each "growing," give the rope a pull)

Then, by Spring, when they woke up, they all were the same size.

"About this time, Mother Nature came back from Florida and saw the bears. 'This can't happen! I want you

to put things back exactly like they were.' She waved her wand over the bears." (put the 'bears' back in your

hand and have a child wave the wand over your hand)

(pull the ropes out of your hand, one at a time. "Here's _____." (naming whichever bear comes out first.

Continue until all bears are accounted for.) "And our three bears are all back just the way they started!"

(Heckler line: If asked "Where's Goldilocks?" Answer, "Shush! That's in the copyrighted version!"

Robert Marquis (magicbyshadow@hotmail.com)

"The short rope represents the little sin in your life. The middle-sized rope is the average sin in your life.

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"But, when you bring them all to the Cross, they all become the same."

"And, when you get to heaven, your rewards are based on how you lived for God."

"The short rope becomes the small rewards; the middle-sized rope are your better rewards; and the longer

rope represents the great rewards!"

"So, which one would YOU like to be?"

Jim McClure ("Mr. Mac") (mrmac2@lex.infi.net)

(Mr. Mac uses this routine for children's shows. It's a story about crows, an elf, and keeping promises.)

(Hand ropes out to three children in the audience)" Would you like to hear a magic story?"

"Once upon a time, there lived in the forest three skinny crows. They were SO hungry! One day they were

perched high in a tree and noticed something in the grass below. One of the crows flew down (have the

children pretend to fly by flapping their arms up and down, to "help the skinny crow fly" as you approach

the child with the short piece of rope, and take it). And what did he find? A worm! A tiny little worm."

"The next crow saw something, too, and he flew down." (repeat the flapping with the children and take the

middle-sized rope) (repeat the same business for the long piece of rope)

"The crows saw that they had three worms, but one was small, the other medium sized, and the last one was

really big. They decided to take the worms to the magic elf who lived on the other side of the forest, to see

if he could make all the worms the same size. Do you know any elves? The Keebler elves! Santa's helper

elves? Well, this elf was Santa's elf's second cousin!"

"The magic elf took the three worms and brought their ends up like this, and said, 'See, they are all equal.'

The three birds could see they were not all equal because the loops hanging down at the bottom were not the

same. (show loops as unequal) The elf said, 'Oh, you want them all the same size!' Yes, the three crows

answered together. 'Well, in order for me to do that, you have to promise to sing me a song when I'm

finished.' "

"The crows agreed that this would be fair. So, the elf said the magic words, 'Bippity, boppity, boo!' And the

elf made the worms all the same size. (do the pull and count the ropes as three) The crows were so excited,

they quickly grabbed the worms and flew back high into their tree. But when they got there, they looked and

found that they now had a small worm, a medium-sized worm, and a very large worm, as before."

"What happened?" The children will ring our, 'They children forgot to sing a song for the elf!' "

"That's right, boys and girls. So, remember: always try to keep all your promises, too!"

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Jack Poulter (jpoulter@islandnet.com)

(Jack spent 37 years in the army, and has personalize his routine around his lifelong tenure in the military.)

"This is the story of three fellows who went to boot camp. One was a thin little guy whose waist belt was

this big (show short rope); an average sized guy; and a guy who really liked home cooking! Their sergeant

told them that "uniformity" was important, and that when they finished their training, they would all march,

"The three guys didn't believe the sergeant but, you know, when they were finished with their training, these

three were all the same (show ropes the same length)."

"The three men were sent overseas to serve their country (knot the three ropes together). Because they had

become buddies during training, they stuck close together all the time, like three peas in a pod (display as

three 'equal' lengths)."

"The three soldiers returned to their homes after service, and didn't see each other (wind up rope and slide

knot to near real knot) for about ten years, until they all three went to a reunion. There, they discovered that,

away from the army discipline, they all lost their uniformity and (unwind rope and untie knots). The little

thin guy's belt was back to being short; the average guy's was still the same, and mine still fit (as I put it

around my waist [I've put on a few pounds since retiring!]"